By Eric Wendt
Don’t get your hopes too high just yet, everyone. This story comes from Brazil, land of picturesque beaches and seemingly endless models. So, y’know, it’s not like you’re going to be able to go to town on yourself during your shift at Burger King.
Anyway, a 36-year-old Brazilian woman named Ana Catarina Bezerra Silvares has won the right to masturbate in the workplace. A judge granted her this privilege due to a disease she has; a disease that sounds way more awesome than cancer.
Apparently this woman suffers from a condition known as “compulsion orgasmic,” a chemical imbalance affecting the brain. It appears that rubbing one out is the only way to relieve the pain.
According to the woman: “There was a day I had to masturbate 47 times. I began to suppose that this could not be normal and decided to seek help.”
47 times, huh? That’s just five times short of my personal record.
Anyway, this should make for a kick-ass office Christmas party come December.