Baby Formula Savings Calculator

Posted on 01. Jun, 2009 by spencer in Paid

I hear the costs of having a baby are second only to starting your own sovereign nation on an island in the Gulf of Arabia. At least that’s how it seems. Of the several people I know with new babies or ones on the way, finances are tight, especially IN THIS ECONOMY. Hell, my hours have been slashed here leaving me in a state of half-time, like the undead equivalent of a member of our workforce and I’m sure the extra mouth my boss will have to feed will take [...]

Fuck Metallica: Believe In The Sword

Posted on 07. Jan, 2009 by spencer in Music

Don’t get me wrong; I love Metallica… Well, at least I loved Metallica back in the day when they still wrote badass, heavy songs and Cliff Burton was alive, smoking bongs and living the storied life as the epitome of hessian bass players. But Metallica might be shooting themselves in the foot by allowing Austin Sabbath-suckers The Sword to open up most of their upcoming tour dates. The Sword owns. They will just DECIMATE the aged headliners with devil-tongued riffery.
I’ve had vaguely unpleasant dealings with The Sword themselves back when [...]

Jobs Are For Suckers

Posted on 14. Nov, 2008 by spencer in Chico

Today on the way to work I witnessed a really heartwarming scene: Emerging victoriously from the pawn shop, a bedraggled, toothless bum carrying a Fender Squier practice amplifier in one hand and a green Stratocaster in the other. His ginormous, tooth-barren smile was the kind that a child gives when they get their first puppy, or when an octogenarian wins the lottery. Dude was stoked to get his gear out of hock; if he had a free hand I would have given him a high five right there on the [...]

Bibliophile 8/4/08: Goodbye

Posted on 06. Aug, 2008 by spencer in Literature

[With heavy hearts we bring you the last installment of Emilie Clark's Bibliophile column.]

You Say Goodbye, I Say, “Get Lost, I’m Reading”
So, I contemplated a lot of different ways to write this last column. I’ve never been especially good at goodbyes. When everyone else was crying at high school graduation, I was making stupid jokes and eyeing the exit. Part of that was because I hated high school so much, but there’s also a part of me that is unable to fully recognize that a change is coming, so that [...]