Skeet Skeet Skeet In Your Yogurt

By Stephanie McKinny

I’m going to try not to vomit. No promises though. A 28-year-old New Mexico woman was shopping at a farmer’s market in Albuquerque recently when she got the most f***ed up surprise of her life. She says she was with her daughter when an employee from the dairy department – you see where this is going – approached her. The man had a sample of yogurt that he insisted she try, and unknowingly, she tried it. According to the woman, it tasted “gross and disgusting,” and “it tasted like semen.” Um, okay. Connoisseur? Anyway, disgusted, she said she “spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.” The woman took it up with the manager of the Sunflower Farmer’s Market, but was not happy with the response she got:

“She told me it was a Greek yogurt. People love it, it has a lot of protein in it.”

Well, she was right on that one. The woman went home and told her boyfriend about the funky yogurt and they returned…with the police. They questioned the man who immediately got nervous and said he threw out the batch after the woman complained. It turned out the dude had warrants from 2009 for sexual contact with a minor. He was arrested, they took samples from both him and the yogurt, and as it turned out, he really did jizz in it. Remind me never to shop in Albuquerque. Looking back, the woman says she found it odd that he had “just come with one sample just for me,” and “he was so pushy to tell me how to taste it.” Wow. Gross. The sicko is currently incarcerated and I bet you’ll never look at your local Costco visit ever the same.

Tags: Ewww, new mexico, semen, Yogurt