Paris Hilton: Still Alive, Still Annoying

By Stephanie McKinny

I find this bitch to be completely deplorable. She’s the kind of chick you would love to throw onto the track during a roller derby bout. She’s so disgusting that if I was a guy, I’d tuck my dick in my ass and run the other way – immediately. And once again, yesterday in Mexico while promoting her new shoe line or some crap, she gave me even more reason to detest her. She decided to go off on a wild tangent about how she’s the best at everything in the whole wide world:

“There’s so many people out there who try to imitate what I do, but I am the original. There is nothing like me.”

What an asshole. She went on in delusional rants about how she has “the best fashion sense,” and that “Girls all love my style. When they buy my products, they can be like me!” Yeah, because that’s what all us girls want. If I wanted to look like you, I’d go get the tackiest, most obnoxious, bright pink crushed velvet track suit I could find. That, and herpisyphilitis. I’m good – thanks. Paris apparently thinks she’s a regular Sir Francis Drake, because the way she talks, she’s seen and done it all:

“I have done everything that I wanted to do and I feel very blessed that I have been very successful in every area. So it’s very exciting. There is nothing else to do!”

Awesome; so does this mean we’ll never have to see you again? Yeah, right. You can’t get rid of infections that easily. She’s supposed to start a new reality show in the Spring called The World According to Paris. Do we really care? Does anyone really f*%#ing care?

Tags: idiot, Paris Hilton