McCain Versus Letterman

John McCain and David Letterman exchanged insults in a duel roast monologue in his return visit to The Late Show With David Letterman

From the NY Times:

“He looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys,” he said, according to a transcript provided by CBS. “He looks like the guy who can’t stop talking about how well his tomatoes are doing. He looks like the guy who goes into town for turpentine. He looks like the guy who always has wiry hair growing out of new places. He looks like the guy who points out the spots they missed at the car wash.”

Then Mr. McCain walked out on stage.

“Hi, Letterman,” he said. “You think that stuff’s pretty funny, don’t you?”

Then Mr. McCain unleashed a slew of his own you-look-like-a-guy jokes at Mr. Letterman.

“Well, you look like a guy whose laptop would be seized by the authorities,” Mr. McCain said. “You look like a guy caught smuggling reptiles in his pants.”

Mr. Letterman interjected: “Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.”

Mr. McCain continued: “You look like the guy who the neighbors later say, ‘He mostly kept to himself.’ You look like the night manager of a creepy motel.”

“Well, that’s what I need,” Mr. Letterman said.

Then Mr. McCain delivers the coup de grace: “And you look like the guy who enjoys getting into a hot tub and watching his swim trunks inflate.”

On Tuesday, everybody was a comedian. The Democratic National Committee came up with its own April Fool’s day list of the “Top 10 Reasons to Vote for John McCain.” They included “Early Bird Specials at the White House cafeteria,” “Finally, the President of the National Press Club will be made a member of the cabinet,” “Best Karaoke Song Ever: ‘Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran’ ” and the number one reason: “The last seven years have been so great, let’s have four more!”

Tags: CBS, david letterman, John Mcain, John McCain, late show, president