John McCain and David Letterman exchanged insults in a duel roast monologue in his return visit to The Late Show With David Letterman
From the NY Times:
â€œHe looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys,” he said, according to a transcript provided by CBS. â€œHe looks like the guy who can’t stop talking about how well his tomatoes are doing. He looks like the guy who goes into town for turpentine. He looks like the guy who always has wiry hair growing out of new places. He looks like the guy who points out the spots they missed at the car wash.”
Then Mr. McCain walked out on stage.
â€œHi, Letterman,” he said. â€œYou think that stuff’s pretty funny, don’t you?â€
Then Mr. McCain unleashed a slew of his own you-look-like-a-guy jokes at Mr. Letterman.
â€œWell, you look like a guy whose laptop would be seized by the authorities,” Mr. McCain said. â€œYou look like a guy caught smuggling reptiles in his pants.”
Mr. Letterman interjected: â€œDon’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.”
Mr. McCain continued: â€œYou look like the guy who the neighbors later say, â€˜He mostly kept to himself.’ You look like the night manager of a creepy motel.”
â€œWell, that’s what I need,” Mr. Letterman said.
Then Mr. McCain delivers the coup de grace: â€œAnd you look like the guy who enjoys getting into a hot tub and watching his swim trunks inflate.”
On Tuesday, everybody was a comedian. The Democratic National Committee came up with its own April Fool’s day list of the â€œTop 10 Reasons to Vote for John McCain.â€ They included â€œEarly Bird Specials at the White House cafeteria,â€ â€œFinally, the President of the National Press Club will be made a member of the cabinet,” â€œBest Karaoke Song Ever: â€˜Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran’ â€ and the number one reason: â€œThe last seven years have been so great, let’s have four more!â€