Joe McCain Calls 911 To Complain About Traffic, Withdraws From Brother’s Campaign After Figuring Out He’s a Complete Moron

John McCain and running mate Sarah Palin love to talk about their fondness for Average Joes – Joe the Plumber, Joe Sixpack, et al – but when it comes to not-so-average Joes, in this case McCain’s brother Joe McCain, they’re probably not so positive at this point. There was first Joe McCain’s off the cuff comment about Northern Virginia being “communist country,” which probably won’t help his brother’s seemingly losing effort in to carry perennially red-state Virginia. Even more damning however, was his recent call to 911 to complain about “traffic.” Yes, he actually called 911 to complain about fucking TRAFFIC. Here is the transcript of the call:

Operator: 911 state your emergency

Caller: It’s not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic’s coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

Caller: “(Expletive) you.” (caller hangs up)

The 911 operator called back the number, to inform McCain that it is in fact a crime to call 911 for non-emergencies and got McCain’s voicemal. Presumably because he was on the line with Alexandria police to complain to them about the traffic as well, because you know, here in America rich people don’t have to put up with that shit!

Unsurprisingly, once word of these calls got out to the commie pinko liberal press, shit hit the fan and Joe McCain officially withdrew from his brother’s campaign, saying:

“I feel terrible about having hurt the campaign over this incident,” he said. “I won’t be doing any more campaigning because of that.”

McCain said he’s going to write a note of apology to the 911 operator and to the Alexandria police.

Joe McCain said he hasn’t spoken to his brother about the incident.

“He’s not going to be happy about it, I’m sure,” he said

Wow, you think? I know, I know, rich people aren’t supposed to have to wait for traffic, but hey, that’s why you’re supposed to just take the family jet, dumbass.

Tags: alexandria police, apology, average joes, brother joe, call operator, calling 911, campaigning, commie pinko, communist country, drawbridge, expletive, fondness, joe mccain, John McCain, liberal press, northern virginia, plumber, running mate, sarah palin, shit hit the fan