I Think Joaquin Phoenix Is On Drugs

In case you haven’t heard the news recently, Joaquin Phoenix has claimed that he’s quitting acting and is bound for a career in rapping. There’s been a ton of speculation weather or not this is true or some elaborate hoax, both from the media and in Phoenix’s camp. Although he claims it’s 100% true, it’s not helping his case that he has Casey Affleck following him around with a film crew documenting the whole thing. Sounds a little fishy, yea?

After perplexing fans recently by announcing he was quitting acting to become a hip-hop artist, the 34-year-old appeared on the talk show to promote his last film, Two Lovers, but gave only stammering one-word answers.

At one point, he pulled a wad of chewing gum from his mouth and stuck it to the host’s desk.

Letterman welcomed him with a glowing introduction and initially worked hard to coax answers out of the unresponsive star. But after receiving a raft of one-word replies, the presenter, known for his cutting wit, gave in to the live audience’s disbelieving laughter and began mocking the unkempt-looking Phoenix.

Last night Phoenix was a guest on David Letterman Show and he was acting kinda strange… really strange. I’m guessing there’s three possible reasons for it: 1. he’s on a ton of fucking drugs, which I’m down with, 2. this is all apart of his elaborate practical joke on us, which is probably some viral marketing campaign to promote a new line of sneakers, or 3. he’s 100% serious about this whole thing, changing his demeanor to be some badass rapper, and is pissing us all off in the process.

Either way, I could care less, but Google Trends told me that this is important for some reason. Why the hell do you people care about this stuff, anyways? You’re overweight and need work on your social skills. Put down the chips, log off and go read a book or something. Take a quick shower and call up your buddy and go hit the park. In the case you’re in the Midwest and it’s freezing outside, check out the video below… then kill yourself for living in the Midwest.

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