No fucking way? According to TMZ’s reports, yes fucking way. The King of Pop is Dead. Long live the King. Rest in peace Jacko, you had one hell of a ride.
We’ve just learned Michael Jackson has died. He was 50.
Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.
A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.
Once at the hospital, the staff tried to resuscitate him but they had no luck.
We’re told one of the staff members at Jackson’s home called 911.
LaToya ran in the hospital sobbing after Jackson was pronounced dead.
Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II.
Who wants to bet his new album will be phenomenal? (And if it isn’t, that most writers will say it is anyway…)
In Memorial, Daniel Taylor’s review of Invincible
is reprinted after the jump.
In India, eunuchs (men who have, often willingly, had their genitals removed, rendering them semi-sexless) are a very feared, nefarious segment of society. They roam the country in packs, striking fear in the hearts of their countrymen by threatening to expose their de-testicled nether-region. Unfortunately, eunuchs the world over now have at their disposal a soundtrack to their ball-less antics: Michael Jackson’s Invincible. Cementing his status as an honorary member of the eunuch fraternity, Jackson is back and he really, really wants you to like him. He brought (and bought) along all your favorite mercenary sell-out R&B puppeteers – Teddy Riley, Rodney Jerkins, R. Kelly, Babyface – and probably had to sell a couple of monkeys and a giraffe in order to finance Invincible. The result sounds like a drum machine dripping with cum: a giant masturbating android being serenaded by a newly erotic Michael Jackson. But even the sultriest beats can’t make Jackson sound sexual. “Break of Dawn” sounds like a guy singing about how he thinks sex might be. Especially embarrassing is the intro to “You Rock my World,” where Jackson sports a suspect baritone speaking voice, arguing with Chris Tucker that he can “get that girl,” who he describes as ‘bangin’. First of all, Michael Jackson should never ever use the word ‘bangin’. Second of all, whom is he trying to fool? We all figured out long ago that Michael Jackson couldn’t get a boner if he tried. So if you really don’t want to ever get laid, or are planning on entertaining some eunuchs, Invincible will certainly fill your needs, otherwise, please spare yourself the agony of this sad madman.
- Daniel Taylor