Eureka, CA
Published on July 1, 2008 by Daniel Taylor · 18 Comments
Why ‘Reka?: Nine times out of 10, when you tell someone you’re going to Eureka (hopefully, you’ll never have to say “I’m going to Eureka” more than 10 times in your life) they figure you’re probably talking Yreka, the humble piss-stop town off of I-5 North on the way to Oregon. But true scions of Northern California know that Eureka with a “eu” is a very, very different place than Yreka. The word Eureka is greek for “I have found it,” but a lot’s changed since the time someone was excited to find Eureka. The gold that gave it it’s name ran out a long time ago, and the other two rape-able natural resources that have kept Eureka from becoming a complete waste of time and space, timber and fish, are both quickly heading that way too. In fact the only things that Eureka seems to have in abundance these days is weed and crazy ass homeless people, and not necessarily in that order.
299: 90% percent of what sucks about Eureka is trying to get there. From these parts, unless you want to be a complete idiot and go the long way on Highway 20 over to 101, pretty much the only route to Eureka is to go up the I-5 to Redding, then take Highway 299. Coincidentally, 299 is almost the exact number of times you’ll feel like you are on the brink of death while driving this stretch of road. If you don’t get in a head-on collision and die a fiery death or puke your guts out, you win the game. Hardly anyone ever wins the game. Even the roadside monuments seem to acknowledge the sheer hopelessness of the journey. Striking west from Redding, the first historical monument you pass is the foreboding sounding “Pioneer Baby’s Grave.” As you continue onwards, the highway clean-up sign typically sponsored by the local chapter of Clampers or Soroptomists, were instead dedicated in memory of such luminaries as “Burt Pickle” and “Critter.” Interspersed were numerous other ad hoc roadside memorials for the countless car crashes and hitchhiker murders that doubtlessly occur annually on this forlorn stretch of highway.
Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire: And as if that wasn’t enough, it just so happens that the day of our ascent through the southern boundary of the Trinity Alps was timed perfectly to meet head on with the numerous forest fires burning in the area. As we lurched past Weaverville, even the recirculating air-conditioner could not repel the campfire stench, and ash wafted like snowflakes from the sky. Unlike the valley though, we soon saw firsthand the source of this lung-searing noxiousness, as fires burned unchecked mere meters off the highway. Burning tree limbs tumbled down hillsides, turning the already precarious highway into a lifesized game of Donkey Kong. More incredible were the onlookers assembled at every vista point and rest stop, not to be satiated by merely taking in the smoke and fire provided by nature, instead adding their own contribution to the vile suspension by enjoying a cigarette. Now that’s dedication! Even as we finally reached the ocean at Arcata, where the smoke could not overcome the ocean breeze, the danger did not subside: driving along the edge of Humboldt Bay, signs lined the road warning motorists to be on the lookout for tsunamis, such as the one in 1964 that killed 11 people and shot 20 foot waves over the harbor in neighboring Crescent City.
You Got a Problem?: And finally, we were there, pulling into Eureka proper, ready to see the sights. I was expecting a Victorian throwback, a village awash in storied sea captain history and antique beauty. Instead it was as if the entire population of San Francisco’s Tenderloin District was transplanted into Oroville, then moved a few hundred miles to the northwest on to an old parking lot bordered by an algae clogged harbor. We stopped at the first bar we saw, and got out. There was a severed cat’s tail on the ground. Bad first impression. But hey, maybe the locals were alright. A dirt caked old man in sweat pants cruised up holding a thick club-like tree branch in one hand and an oversized Dandelion looking flower in the other. He looked at me and asked, rather forcibly “You Got a Problem?!” and I realized that yes, I did have a problem. I was in Eureka.
Eureka, CA,Tags: 101, 299, arcata, brink of death, california, car crashes, clampers, complete waste of time, crazy ass, CRED, Death, donkey, eureka, fiery death, Fire, head on collision, historical monument, homeless people, hopeless, hopelessness, luminaries, Nature, Northern California, oregon, rape, Redding, roadside memorials, san francisco, scions, soroptomists, suspension, time and space, Weaverville
Readers Comments (18)
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ROAD TRIP! lol
It’s always made me crazy when I say “I am from Ukiah” and then people think I said Eureka… “Dang that’s way up there by the Oregon border” and I reply no, and then they are like “Oh, that’s on I-5, right?”
You hail from Chico, in the central valley? And you bitch and moan about Eureka? What do you have there besides a school on drugs. About 10 years ago I had to help a friend get his son out of one of your party fraternities. What a joke.
Another thing you missed: 1,800 Victorian structures, hudgreds of which are state and nationally significant.
And you likely didn’t mention the weed you came to get, which was the real reason for your small minded journey.
Being a Chico native, I am inclined to disagree with you. Problem is, I can’t. :-/
If Eureka is so great than why do both of you assume the only reason I would go there is to buy weed, which I don’t smoke? If it makes you feel any better I’ve written at length about how much Chico sucks, because it does suck as much, if not more than Eureka.
WELCOME TO THE INTERNET
“90% of what sucks about Eureka is trying to get there.”
No crap. You mean you head out drive to Eureka on 299 (which has been closed on and off over the last couple weeks due to… you guessed it… FIRES!) and expect a pleasant little drive into Weedland like you’re heading off to a theme park?
Let me lay this out for you, Genius:
1. When you drive through an area that has been declared a Disaster Area by the President of the United States, you’re not in for a jolly old time like you’d have at your Oasis Bar & Grill. Did you travel to New Orleans after Katrina and complain about all the unsightly wreckage all over the place?
2. When you jump out in the middle of a town where you think you can most easily score some weed, you may not be QUITE ready to write for Lonely Planet on the subject.
The part most infuriating to me about this entry is that you act like you were done some great disservice by the area and arrogantly claim its inferiority.
I hope, for your and the world’s sake, that you do not do much traveling until you are better prepared to understand and enjoy the places you go.
So, what doesn’t suck?
exactly
Teh internetz r serious business
Hilarious!
I spent much time in NYC back in the 1980′s on the lower east side, there were burned out buildings and junkies everywhere- there was no enforced drinking age and even the cops sold weed and coke. I’ve lived here for 4 years now and even after making it out of the Lower East Side alive, I am still shocked at what I see in Eureka and I am distressed that it’s getting worse as prices rise. Rarely a day goes by you don’t see something that makes you go, ” WTF?!? ” Driving on the roads is insane because it’s a mixture of Mad Maxx cars and $70k lifted grower trucks that don’t fit in the narrow lanes, with a large portion not using insurance- even those lifted trucks. This morning I saw pit bulls running wild, people awakening in their wood paneled station wagons from the 70′s, hookers, and the chick with the sign on Broadway calling for calmness! Lately it looks like we’re starting to get gang members who wear panty hose on their heads, maybe the crips and bloods will kill the homeless mutants- but it’s going to be a close fight. It should be legal to use landmines on your property in Eureka to defend your home from the zombies that just keep appearing from where ever it is they spawn.
I’m shocked that Grand Theft Auto the video game isn’t set in Eureka, because they could do a real good one here. If anyone knows what makes most everyone here turn into a zombie- we despertly need an antidote!
The area is run by several families who promote poverty through an oppressive local government that won’t allow for “outside” money to challenge what they have built here. Surely it must be the only “beach town” on the west coast with no beach for the tourists they want so bad- they get a stinking pulp mill to honeymoon near, and have their car broken into.
REAL TALK
I’ve lived in Eureka for 2 years now. Transfered for my husband’s job. I work at one of the banks there and often ask customers what brought them to eureka. many of them (the crazy homeless you speak of) say that they used to live in the bay area and upon being released for parole, they are put on a bus and sent to eureka.
I have to agree with Jen and “X”
I guess those who’ve only known Humboldt can’t see how messed up it is. I lived in LA for a while (but grew up in Portland) and the homeless situation here is comparable (when you look at the ratio) – the area in front of my workplace looks like a bum convention in the morning. Half my customers smell like weed and I can’t find good employees – just ones that don’t suck as much as the others.
The good thing is that I make a good living since I don’t do drugs and I have a work ethic – now if I could just find a job that pays as well back home and get the hell outta here….sigh
i live in eureka (yes sadly) most of my live. watched this town go from bad to just horrible, if it isnt the wannabe gangbangers being dumb then its the what i call “welfare tweeker) families that have just ruined this town. san fran and LA, fuck u and ur trash cause we dont want anymore of it. send it to redding or even modesto for all i care. yea theres nothing here but weed but hey at least its something to do other than gangbang or tweek. personally the music scene here sucks, no thanx to the “arkley money pit”,another issue is that this town really needs to stop thinking in the 19th century and move on from logging, just face it, its DEAD. not to mention the health care here is a joke, so, if ur planning on heading here for a vacation, i wouldnt.and lastly, why in the living hell did this town build and spent millions building a venue when u dont allow metal shows? seriously why? no one is going to watch ur crappy ass jazzfests!
I just wanted to say, I lived there for a few years, I would love to live there again. The job market sucks therefore I moved. Weed is not the only thing Eureka has to offer. There are some great restaurants, as well as some great places to go fishing. The scenery out there is just amazing. But as the last poster had commented they really do need to start thinking a little more towards the now instead of the past. As for the tard that published this blog, 299 is not the fastest way up to Eureka, 20 is faster, you get less traffic and can just go, (depending on the time of year), 299 is not a scary or dangerous road, most of the time the worst part of it is those damned tourists driving their RV’s at twenty when you could be going fifty five. That and as for a few of those rest in piece signs you found on the roadside, it’s from when the tourists lay down in the middle of the highway to take pictures of the trees around a blind corner. Dumb ass’s get run over. 299 is one of the easiest to drive highways in that area. Only iffy part is coming up buckhorn which is a whole ten minutes of the highway.
I grew up on highway 299 before escaping to civilization. Your “luminary” Burt Pickle was one of my first and dearest friends. He died in a fiery crash on the 299 along with his infant daughter a couple years ago. Say hi to him if you don’t make it all the way to Eureka on your next trip.
Stay away from Eureka then!! I don’t think the locals would mind a bit
Ive lived here, off and on, for 25 yrs/ Ive seen awful neighborhoods in all the american cities and dublin and london…I grew up all over, very poor but dignified and clean. Ive seen Eka go from bad to apocalyptic. Its so bad , even NYC looks tame compared to the freaks here. All the Marinites and rich Republicans who dont want new money coming in but hate pot….as do I—are causing an underclass that its getting restless. Expect more homicides and rapes…when it hits the DA’s fam, maybe theyll opt for more factories and work for the denizens of Eka, the only town where the people who are homed, look homeless and retarded.
But, there are good people here, many, you have to go into yerself here. This place doesnt take kindly to city folk who need a hand in recreation.Compared to the inland waste, Humboldt is a gem, beautiful beyong belief….Eka is crusty, and has its rustic parts……demand better, Eureka…..we can be the damned best coastal town in America.