Nature. There’s a reason why I don’t get involved with it. I’m all for conservation and preserving what’s left of our pristine habitats (I think there’s about four-square miles of it in northern Canada somewhere), but don’t expect me to get out there and camp. And you’ll never find me on a boat, because I can’t swim, and you can’t make me learn either. Here’s why: There’s shit out there that will fucking eat you.
It wasn’t on purpose, but a confused eagle ray took out some poor lady who was bravely venturing out into the watery abyss. The woman and her family were floating along on the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of the Florida Keys when a Leviathan launched out of the water and caused a tragedy. According to Jorge Pino of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission:
“A large ray jumped out of the water and collided with the victim and somehow the barb penetrated some part of her body, which caused her to fall back and hit her head on some portion of the vessel,” Pino said. “We don’t know exactly which one of those things caused her death.”
According to local media, the woman was impaled through the neck.
Eagle rays, like all rays, are usually shy and beautiful creatures–unless you’re a snail, mussel or crustacean, then you’re fucked. However, they can grow up to 8 feet long and are armed with venomous barbs. Condolences go to the family of the deceased.