Contrary to my dream last night, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was not recently fired from her position for not disclosing that she was, indeed, a Hermaphrodite. One thing’s for certain: I really should stop listening to BBC World Service while I’m trying to fall asleep. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes probably didn’t help either. I mean, really, when do they?
The weird dream prompted me to look up Condi on google news this morning. After attempting the key words “Condoleezza Rice Hermaphrodite,” which luckily found no results, I stumbled upon an article from ABC News about Condi’s former life as an aspiring pianist.
As a 17-year-old sophomore at the University of Denver, Rice was a music major with big dreams, who had started learning to play the piano from her grandmother at the age of three.
“I could read music before I could read. And I was absolutely certain that I was going to end up playing at Carnegie Hall,” Rice said onstage prior to her performance on Saturday.
Her first appearance at the Aspen Music Festival, however, quickly changed a young Condoleezza Rice’s mind.
“After listening to some of the 11- and 12-year-olds play, who could play from sight everything it had taken me all year to learn, I thought, ‘you know, you’re going to end up playing at Nordstrom or a piano bar, but not Carnegie Hall,’” she said.
Imagine the world that could have been. Actually, there’s probably no difference as Bush would have just appointed some other tool into a high position, but it does give me a giggle thinking of Condi hammering away at Nordstrom or some bullshit.
PLAY SOME SKYNNARD!!! WHOO!!!