Synthesis Weekly Reviews — Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Posted on 29. Jul, 2009 by Author in Album Review, Film
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
20th Century Fox
In Theatres – Rated PG
The third installment of the Ice Age animated film franchise, Dawn of the Dinosaurs, delivers more or less what we’ve come to expect from the notorious pack of dysfunctional pre-historic misfits. This time around, as Ellie (Queen Latifah) and Manny (Ray Romano) eagerly await the arrival of their first newborn mammoth, the well-intentioned (but clueless) sloth, Sid (John Leguizamo) decides that swiping a trio of T-Rex eggs is a good way to scratch his newfound itch for parenthood. Mama [...]
Don’t Mess With Kevin Smith
Posted on 29. Jul, 2009 by Dallas VonKillbot in Comedy, Film, Lifestyle, TV
As Comic-Con has descended upon San Diego, Screen Junkies has delightfully reminded us not to fuck with big ass Hollywood stars… people like Kevin Smith. I mean, come on! He wrote Clerks!
Check out how Smith verbally violates some jackass at 2008’s events, then go watch Clerks: The Animated Series. Yes, it’s real, it’s horrible, it only ran for 6 episodes and I have 2 copies of it. On the plus side, Charles Barkley is in 4 of those episodes, which is pretty fucking [...]
Top 5 Reasons Star Wars is Awesome
Posted on 24. Jul, 2009 by Tobias in Blog, Film, TV, Technology, gaming
The other day I was watching the first Star Wars movie with my friend. Things were going well and we were both having a grand time until we took the magical journey to Mos Eisley.
“What’s this silliness?” I asked my friend.
“Why, that’s a dewback, chap,” came his reply.
“I know that, cunt. Why’s it look like it’s from a Playstation game?” I inquired.
“Special Edition, broseph. It’s got a ton of new things added in like Jabba in the Mos Eisley space port.”
I perked [...]
Synthesis Weekly Reviews – “Push”
Posted on 22. Jul, 2009 by Author in Album Review, Film
Push
Universal
DVD – RATED PG-13
Watcher, Mover, Pusher; it’s all very complicated. Basically, Push deals with the classic tale of an individual who is burdened by their extraordinary powers. Nick Gant (Chris Evans, Fantastic Four) is a Mover scared to use his powers for fear of getting tracked by Division operatives after he saw them kill his father when he was a young boy. While living his depressing life, Grant is impacted by a Watcher (Dakota Fanning, War of the Worlds) who uses her special power to see that the details of [...]
Synthesis Weekly Reviews — “Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince”
Posted on 21. Jul, 2009 by Author in Album Review, Film
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE
Warner Bros.
IN THEATERS – RATED PG
When Harry returns for his sixth year at Hogwarts, it’s anything but business as usual; there are several new security measures in place to protect Hogwarts from invasion, within good reason, too. The Death Eaters (or Followers of Voldemort, for those of you muggles not keeping up with the tale), are gaining strength and becoming quite bold, even so bold as to attack the muggle world. Worse yet, they’re acquiring members from the new generation of wizards. The kids [...]
Bundy: A Legacy of Evil (Review)
Posted on 09. Jul, 2009 by Author in Album Review, Film
Bundy: A Legacy of Evil
Lionsgate
DVD – Rated R
Theodore Robert Bundy was a man of singular tenacity and resourceful nature. He could have made a great politician, if not for the phantom of his own emergent sociopathy. Instead, Ted chose a life of rape and murder, and excelled at it. Bundy: A Legacy of Evil paints a shoddy portrait of Bundy’s horrifying and compelling personality. Corin Nemec stars, bringing a sneering self-loathing to the dapper killer. Tacky love scene montages preclude the bludgeoning and necrophilia, seeking to endear Bundy to the [...]
A Brief Review of Caligula
Posted on 09. Jul, 2009 by spencer in Album Review, Film
Caligula (Three Disc Imperial Edition)
Analysis Film/Penthouse
DVD – Not Rated
What follows is a run-down of events that transpire in the pagan Roman porno epic Caligula. Before becoming the fourth emperor of Rome, Caligula (Malcolm McDowell, A Clockwork Orange) has sex with his sister and visits his syphilis-ravaged grandfather’s orgy where dudes wack off, chicks ride clit-flicking machines, babies play with winged penis toys, women fuck snakes and goats and shit, conjoined twins write around and a dude juggles dongs. That’s all in the first 25 minutes. Then a soldier with [...]
Synthesis Weekly Reviews: The International
Posted on 29. Jun, 2009 by Author in Album Review, Film
The International
Columbia
DVD – Rated R
Despite the fact that Hollywood is obsessed (or, it could be us) with corporate conspiracy/crooked government/international spy chase/murder cover-up movies, Tom Tykwer’s The International is a pretty legit film. Clive Owen does an adequate job of carrying the movie as agent Louis Salinger—the man trying to crack a multi-nation illegal weapons ring. At his side, of course, is the lovely Eleanor Whitman, a Manhattan Assistant DA, played by Naomi Watts (wouldn’t it be great if a film actually used average looking people?). But the action is [...]
