Why nature is dirty..
Posted on 26. Jul, 2007 by SporkGirl in Blog, Idiocy, Lifestyle
So it’s summer, eh? Most people are talking about camping, visiting the beach, swimming, and joining in on the coolest trend around, skin cancer. Stupid people. It’s summer. Stay home, enjoy air conditioning, because you never know what’s out there.
Nature is dirty. Ew times infinity plus twelve. I don’t like camping. There’s nothing too wonderful about laying on the ground, freezing your ass off, and having to pee in a bush. Plus there’s bugs, dirt, heat, bears, rain… and camping on the beach? No freakin’ way! Camping on the beach [...]
Surprise, Britney Spears is a lunatic..
Posted on 25. Jul, 2007 by SporkGirl in Blog, Idiocy, Music
Britney may be no coke-head Lindsey Lohan, but she’s just as crazy and probably more dangerous. The poptart not only has custody of her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James, but also a poor little pooch with a little bit of IBS.
At a recent OK! Magazine shoot, Britney not only ruined a $274 dollar designer dress by wiping her greasy money-grubbing digits on them (Brit, that’s not the quilted quicker-picker-upper..) but her dear doggy also took the time to do number two on a pretty little $6,700 gown. I [...]
Holy Jesus Juice, Batman! Someone get me a cape..
Posted on 20. Jul, 2007 by SporkGirl in Blog, Lifestyle, TV
Pft. I could totally be a superhero. I’m witty, intelligent, more powerful than a lawnmower, and I think I’d look pretty darn good in spandex, if I do say so myself.
That’s right, superfans, it’s time for season numero dos of “Who Wants to be a Superhero?”. (Insert childish jumping and hand waving here.)
Sci-Fi’s smut TV is back for round two, boasting characters such as a scantily-clad woman who can, of all things, talk to insects and a well-oiled man who uses his sweat as a weapon. Mind numbing, isn’t it? [...]
I don’t give a Funky Winkerbean.
Posted on 20. Jul, 2007 by SporkGirl in Art, Blog, Lifestyle
It’s true, Funky Winkerbean is dead. No lie, no internet hoax. Funky. Winkerbean. Is. Dead.
Okay, just kidding. Funky Winkerbean isn’t dead, just the character Lisa Moore. I fooled you, didn’t I?
‘Funky Winkerbean’ creator Tom Batiuk is down to let Lisa die of (le gasp) breast cancer. The character was diagnosed with the disease during a story line in 1999. It would appear comic-strip-chemo isn’t up to par these days. Pity.
While readers write in to beg and plead with Batiuk, he maintains that he just doesn’t give a Funky Winkerbean about [...]
They let her reproduce!!??!!
Posted on 18. Jul, 2007 by SporkGirl in Blog, Hit The Deck, Idiocy, Lifestyle
Will the world be looking forward to a lip syncing, hoe-down dancing, sugar-we’re-DEFINITELY-going-down bobbit? The world is shocked amid reports that Ashlee Simpson and squeeze Pete Wentz actually tried sex, let alone succeeded in creating the most doomed child since dear little Suri Cruise. It’s been said that they’re keeping things quiet (surprise, surprise) but that Pete pulled the ultimate romantic gesture and and went down, down, in an earlier round on one knee and popped the big question. Poor child.
With a mother following closely in the footsteps of Brittany [...]
